My name is Hope!

Growing up I always hated my middle name “Hope”. As a young biracial girl, growing up in a racist world, it was very hard for me to find myself, so I struggled with identity issues. I always had friends of all races, but for some reason I couldn’t find where I fit in. Caucasians told me that I was not white because if I had one drop of black blood in me, than I was considered black and even though I was light-skinned, I was too dark to be White. I often felt closer and more connected to the African American community and culture, but even they would tell me I was too light to be black, I had to be white. So I didn’t know where I fit in. I hated people being teased and bullied because I was teased and bullied. I hated people being treated as an outcast because I was one. So most of my friends were people others typically didn’t like or the people that didn’t fit into the popular crowds. I struggled with identity issues because I felt more connected to the African American community even though they did not really embrace me. Growing up I hated my middle name “Hope” only because I only knew a few girls named Hope and they were Caucasian so in my mind here I am trying to find myself growing up with colored skin, but having a “white girl” middle name. Even though that sounds so stupid now, growing up you couldn’t tell me no different. I didn’t want people to know my middle name. I was completely detached from it, but later in my adult life, in my mid-twenties to early thirties, I started going through a change. This was the time in my life where I was strengthening my relationship with God, reading the word, meditating, drawing nearer and closer to Him, trying to fight the feelings inside of emptiness and lack of fulfillment. I cried out to God to reveal my purpose to me and He brought me right back around to my middle name, “Hope”. My father used to always tell me that I was the hope of the world, but I never knew what that meant. As I developed my gifts and talents, I realized that I’m really good at dropping seeds of Hope for the Hopeless. Now I embrace my middle name. It has become my new identity. The Lord has made me new in Him and I now have purpose and live a life of fulfillment helping others have hope through every encounter, every human interaction, through my poetry, through working with youth and being a community advocate, I AM HOPE. To God be the glory! #hope #testimony