I keep hearing…
Go within yourself to find happiness!
Go within and see what?
The ugliness that has penetrated my skin all the years of my life?
All the flaws that make me the pickings at the bottom of the totum pole?
All the memories of every person I ever cared about walking out on me ‘cuz I must not be deserving of their love?
What am I supposed to go within and find?
All the scars from all the damage done over time?
All the broken pieces that are unmendable,
That even if I could reshape them and rebuild my heart,
It would still be morbit,
Blackened and ice cold;
A soul covered in darkness so thick no light can seep through its possession?
What am I supposed to feel when I “go within”?
All the pain of abuse,
Mistreatment and neglect that revisits me every time I close my eyes?
All the anxiety that fear stirs up from all my poor decisions,
Prickling my pores,
Shaking my insides,
Making me not want to make a move?
What am I supposed to hear when I go within?
The voices that tell me
No one loves me,
I’m not good enough,
I will never amount to much?
The shreaking of people screaming from violence and gun shots in the streets?
The thundering as if every event in my life is a scene from a scary movie?
How do I go within when everything within is tainted,
Reeking of horendous stench, festoring like an untreated infectious sore?
Since you are a child of God…
I’ll tell you what you should seek…
First, you should see a light that shines in the darkest of days because even the midnight sky lights up from a tiny star haze.
Even the dimest light can be seen in a black pit.
Life is the light that shines in your body and your soul is the fuel that ignites it.
You should see your uniqness,
You were made to be great not perfect, but you are perfect just the way you are because your flaws give you character and clarity.
You should see that regardless of people leaving you,
It only made you stronger so you can stand on your own two feet.
You will discover that your scars are lessons to learn from and that those lessons are the glue that mends every broken piece.
Ask for discernment that will allow you to filter through the trash and pull out the gold;
Then, your spirit will heal and restore your brokenness making you whole.
You will feel a warmth,
An overwhelming gratification for life,
A sense of well-being regardless of your circumstantial strife.
There is a peace within you and you control whether you keep your peace or give in to havoc.
There may be fear internalized,
But once you tap into your Divinity, Anxiety will flee and disappear like magic.
Feel God’s presence within you because you are a piece of Him in human form.
And if you open your ears to hear, You will hear the voice of your Creator tell you the direction you need to go in to get through the storm.
He will affirm your person and show you an unconditional love that seems hard to find.
He created you,
So of course He wants the best for you,
He will transform your mind.
His supreme whispers will tell you that you are more than enough,
That you are great and will be greater,
That you are His masterpiece and you lack nothing so ignore your haters.
And when you hear those sweet Divine confirmations,
Believe them for they are for your good!
Tune out the sorrows of the world,
Of your experiences and any negative self talk as you should.
Believe what God believes about you .
See yourself as God sees you,
As His child whom He is proud of and loves dearly,
For He always knew you could.
Know that He is excited to see where you will go ‘cuz He knows where He is taking you.
He has great things planned regardless of what you have been through.
All you have to do is believe.
So yes go within to find your happiness because that’s where God plants His seeds.
All Gods secrets lie awaiting inside.
It’s your job to uncover them.
So lift the veil from your eyes.
Go within to see…
~Dedicated to my former student D. Holmes, R.I.Power Young King